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Chapter Contents

What makes a therapist proud during counseling?

Is recovery even possible?

What is trauma?

Is therapy necessary for recovery?

How will I recognize "recovery" when it happens?

How to take care of yourself during rape trauma therapy

How to tell if your therapist is competent at rape trauma work

Common mistakes that happen in rape trauma therapy

Goals and Contracts

What are "Triggers," and what should I do about them?

If you have panic attacks

Is dissociation the same thing as a flashback?

Why flashbacks happen, and what to do

Begin challenging your old beliefs about rape

Grieving for your loss

Transformation Activities Part I: Evaluating what you believe about rape

Which of these myths about rape had you believed before your rape?

Part II: Addressing your fears about rape therapy

Part III: The meaning of the rape

Part IV: Your story

Preparing yourself for the story

Coping with emotions during your writing

When you are finished

"But writing makes it too real!"

Examples of stories

What you learn from your own story

Negative aftermath of telling your story ("Why do my worst nights follow my best days in therapy?")

Part V: Identifying stuck points

Case Example

Freezing and paralysis during rape ("I just laid there and took it!")

Challenging your stuck points

Changing self-talk

How these three voices debate while you are still traumatized

How these guides converse when you are well-adjusted

Why do some men rape? And why did it happen to me?

How feminist theory compares to mainstream rape myths in explaining rape

The phrase "put myself in that position" and self-blame

Comparing yourself to others in recovery

Personal history, "being perfect," and rape

Should I confront my rapist?

What if I see my rapist again unintentionally?

Seeing him does not sabotage your power

Creative confrontation

Why does it emotionally destroy me when people downplay or misunderstand my rape?

What if my body had a sexual response during the rape?

Why did I become promiscuous after the rape?

Can sex be enjoyable again? Why do I have to be drunk to have sex?

Improving your sexual life

The five conditions for healthy sexuality

Relapse prevention plan for sexuality

How do I know if I'm ready for sex?

Do I have to have an "A-ha!" moment in therapy?

Why do I sometimes get angry at my therapist during the work we do?

Is it normal to be angry at God now?

What is the link between rape and self-injury?

The emotional side of self-injury

The physiology of self-injury

So what's the link?

Are you ready to stop?

Why can I work so hard, and yet sometimes feel like I haven't changed?

If OB/GYN and dental appointments become triggers

Advice to Dentists

Advice to Gynecologists (written by an anonymous survivor)

Should I forgive my rapist?

How can anger help you recover from rape?

The label of "Survivor"

Final work Where are they now?

(The current status of the women in this book, and how they are doing today)

Suggested Reading

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